If you are unfamiliar with Skin Wars, it’s a body painting competition show. Season 3, episode 7 is called “Survive & Thrive”. The models in the episode are all breast cancer survivors. The majority, if not all, of these women were diagnosed in their late 20’s & early 30’s. This episode was so inspiring and emotional for me that it took me 3 sittings over a span of about 36 hours to get through. I had to keep pausing so I could write down what I was thinking. It was the inspiration behind my posts titled THE AVALANCHE & CANCER.
To these amazing women, thank you. The impact your stories made on me was incredible. While they are not exactly the same as my own, it’s still the same message I would love to get out there.
These cancers don’t discriminate when it comes to age and when you’re diagnosed at a much younger age than normal it does make things harder. Some of these women had to push and advocate for themselves just to get a mammogram and/or biopsies because of their age. They had to fight to get diagnosed.
I didn’t have to “fight” for my diagnosis, but I did have to pay out of pocket to find the reason for my infertility which led to my diagnosis. I still had to get a prescription every year after that in order to get a mammogram until I hit the age where insurance will pay for it without one. I had zero symptoms, no family history, nothing to suggest I had cancer or was at risk for it.
I was only 7 minutes into the show when the impact of their words hit me like a Mac truck. They were talking about how alone they felt. It’s been almost 13 years since my diagnosis and I still feel so alone. There are so many layers of grief, guilt, and unexplainable things to my story I think I’d have a hard time finding someone whose circumstances were like mine.
I resumed the episode later that evening and maybe 10 more minutes in and my “everything happens for a reason” mindset kicked in. I’ve been trying to stay away from tv series because I will binge watch the hell out of them and that’s the last thing I should be doing. I should be out there, actively trying to find ways to improve my life and my mental health, right? How am I going to get better if I don’t try?
Then it hits me: STOP TRYING SAMANTHA. Just be.
I have felt so defeated the last week or so that I went back to my escape in TV series. That’s what led me to Skin Wars. Skin Wars lead me to these remarkable women who have made me feel less alone. So what happened when I stopped trying? I found inspiration. I came across a slice of common ground I’ve been searching 12 years to find.
I was finally able & ready to finish the episode later the next evening (I may or may not have been sobbing through it). These women came strutting out with nothing on but pasties, panties and body paint with confidence and their heads held high. Just empowered.
On top of all that, they didn’t send the bottom artist packing. No artist lost their battle that day. Very fitting for an episode dedicated to survivors.
Well done Skin Wars, well done.